I RLY Hate U
by 6GunSally
Summary: There's a thin line between love and hate. No one likes to toe that line more than Franziska and her Little Brother. A series of drabbles to the song "True Love". Expect a little subtlety, a little mystery, a little romance and a whole lot of CRACK. (Whip crack) FRANZISKA/EDGEWORTH Now complete! Please R&R!
1. Paper Clips

**_Disclaimer: Ace Attorney and all characters are copyright by CAPCOM; I'm just a fan imitating. The stories presented are influenced by the multiple games as well as the comic (Manga written by Kenji Kuroda)._**

**_The song "True Love (feat. Lily Allen)" is written by P!nk. Copy right Sony Music Entertainment._**

* * *

**Paper clips**

**_Sometimes..._**

"Miles Edgeworth, I am your superior, and I'm order-!"

"Superior? Superior what?"

I'm looking at him, he's turning back to his desk.

**_ I hate every... _**

"Are you just..."

He's ignoring me.

**_single... _**

"Yes good afternoon, this is Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth-"

Now, he's on the phone, trying to-no he's not even trying...

"We are short on paper clips..."

**_stupid word you say..._**

"Yes of course! _Promptly_."

He's definitely acting like I'm not here. He's always telling me that there are better ways to do this...

*WHOOSH *SNAP *CRACK *SNAP

"Franziska!"

But he rarely leaves me any other choice...

* * *

**_A/N: I'm road tripping for the next few weeks and I don't have time to_** **write.**

_These are so short, I don't even know if they count as drabbles... But they are iPad friendly. This song makes me think of Edgeworth and Franziska... So I started jotting little things down... Don't expect plot, I've too much of that in the other stories I write. (Even I need a break from me-lol) I hope someone enjoys these as much as I did..._


	2. Glasses

**Glasses**

**_Sometimes..._**

"Fransizka!"

He's paying attention to me now...

**_I wanna slap you in your whole face..._**

"My glasses are broken..."

He glares at me like it's my fault.

"Your foolishness broke them."


	3. Culpability

**Culpability**

She's glaring at me like nothing's happened...

**_There's no one quite like you_**

Now she's smiling like something pleasant is about to happen...

**_You push all my buttons down_**

"Please put down the whip Franziska."

"I give the orders around here!"

I don't even know how to respond to that.

*WHOOSH *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK

"Nngggh!"


	4. Make Like a Tree

**Make Like a Tree**

"Miles Edgeworth, how dare you stare at me with that tone of voice!"

"Please leave my office."

"No."

"Don't you have some poor detective to torture down at the precinct?"

"Not today..."

"Please leave me alone, Franziska."

"Why?"

"Nnnnngh!"

He just walked out of the office! How dare he just-!

"Don't you walk out on me with that tone of voice!"

**_I know life would suck without you_**


	5. French Lunch

**French Lunch**

"Why didn't you just ask me, like a normal person?"

*WHOOSH *CRACK

**_At the same time... _**

"OW!"

"That's for your cheeky insubordination."

"Right."

"Did you say Wright?"

Ah, another glare. Interesting.

"Ar aye jee haych tee."

Mmmm. Hmmm.

"What do you want for lunch?"

"French."

Oh stop making faces at me Bruderchen. He needs to use his words. I can't tell what he means when he waggles his eyebrows at me.

"French?"

"Yes. That's what I said."

"French fries? French bread? French what?"

"French lunch."

"Oh. Yes, you've clarified that nicely. On second thought, I've lost my appetite."

*WHOOSH *CRACK

"Ow."

"Why don't you want to spend time with me?"

**_I wanna hug you..._**

"I plead the fifth..."

**_I wanna wrap my hands around your neck_**

Now he's waggling his eyebrows at my whip...


	6. Stairwells

**Stairwells**

Even after so many years, he is still wary of the elevator. He uses them, like anyone else, but avoids them when he can.

So sad. So weak.

Just look at his stupid back and his stupid neck.

*WHOOSH *CRACK *SNAP

"Ow! What the—! Franziska, I didn't say anything."

"You were walking with that tone of voice."

"You're lucky I'm willing to tolerate you. Otherwise you'd have to get your 'French Lunch' by yourself."

**_ You're an asshole... _**

*WHOOSH *CRACK *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK

"Oh OW! Ow ow ow…"

"Franziska what—"

"I hate you Miles Edgeworth!"

"Me? I told you not to go flicking that thing around in narrow corridors…"

I can't believe this happened. How can this have happened? He must have done something to my whip. Oh no. Don't come up here and try to comfort me!

**_but I love you..._**

"I don't want your sympathy, Miles Edgeworth!"

Oh, now he thinks he can just sigh and run away.


	7. Etiquette

**Etiquette**

"Hands off, Franziska!"

"But I don't want to listen to—"

"I'm driving. Proper car etiquette dictates that control of the car stereo is a driver privilege."

**_And you make me so mad I ask myself_**

"Papa had a driver, but he was the one who controlled the radio."

"I'm not your chauffeur, Franziska."

"You're my subordinate."

**_Why I'm still here, or where could I go_**

It doesn't seem she's going to stop that anytime soon. Why do I put up with this?

You know why, you idiot.

Stupid conscience.


	8. Wandering Eyes

**Wandering Eyes**

"I saw you looking at her."

"She was talking to me! Am I supposed to stare at you, instead?"

What's wrong with staring at me?

**_You're the only love I've ever known_**

"Do you think I'm pretty Miles?"

Oh why do you have to hesitate like that!

"Stop fishing for compliments. It's unbecoming."

Jerk.


	9. Envy

**Envy**

"What are you getting?"

He won't stop hiding behind that menu.

"Miles—"

"If I knew I wouldn't be reading this, now would I?"

"The bouillabaisse here is very good."

"Thank you, but I don't need your help."

"I thought you wanted to be sociable? You can talk to that other lady, but you won't talk to me?"

"She was seating us, Franziska. You don't have to get jealous."

**_But I hate you_**

"I'm not jealous of that little strumpet!"

"Tsk. You don't even know that poor girl—"

**_I really hate you_**

*WHOOSH *CRACK

"Over react much?"

*WHOOSH *CRACK *WHOOSH *CRACK *WHOOSH *CRACK *WHOOSH *CRACK *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK

"Ow…"

Don't you dare start crying Miles Edgeworth!


	10. Lemons

**Lemons**

"Do you want lemon in your tea?"

"No thank you."

"But I want lemon in my tea."

"So ask for lemon with your tea."

"But then they'll give me a whole lemon's worth of wedges, and that's too much."

"I fail to see why this is such an enormous dilemma—don't whip me."

Why can't he just do what I want him to do?

**_So much, I think it must be_**

"I want you to share my lemons with me."

"Franziska…"

"Who doesn't take lemon in their tea?"

"I don't like lemon in my tea."

"Yes you do."

"…"

"It's perfect that way."

"You don't need lemons to be perfect."

Aw... He's so sweet...

**_True love, true love_**

Wait, that doesn't even make sense.


	11. Unpalatable

**Unpalatable**

"This is terrible."

Why are you so finicky, Little Brother?

"Maybe there's something wrong with your mouth."

"No it's… It's unpalatable… How can anyone eat here?"

"I like it."

"That doesn't make this food—if you want to stretch the definition of that word—any more palatable."

"It's good. I love this place. So obviously, there's something wrong with you."

Did he just roll his eyes?! What a foolish habit!

"If you hate it so much, why'd you agree to take me?"

"I didn't know it was this bad."

"Surely you've heard of this place. There was a murder here a few years ago."

"Well, that certainly speaks volumes for this place."

"Don't act like you're too good for my favorite restaurant."

"I wasn't—"

Why does he sigh like that? Is he sick?

**_It must be true love_**


	12. Duty Calls

**Duty Calls**

"Wasn't that the best lunch you've ever had?"

It was gross. You watched me not eat it.

"I'm still hungry."

"You must only eat lunch once a day. Or you'll get fat."

"But I didn't even eat—"

"Stop complaining. You should take me to the aquarium."

"What? Why should we—"

"Because the aquarium is a nice place to walk around in."

"Yeah, but, I'm sure my paper clips have been delivered by now—I have a lot to do at the office."

"Oh, you can just stay late to finish that. Don't you want to spend time with me?"

How do I say this without setting her off? Wait…

Why does she want to spend time with me?

**_Nothing else can break my heart like_**

"Why are you making that face?"

"What? I'm not making faces!"

"I'm perfect, Miles Edgeworth! You should be so grateful that I let you be seen in public with me."

She really just said that.

"I really should go back to work…"

"No!"

"No?"

She's making me crazy.

**_True love, true love,_**


	13. Coercion

**Coercion**

"So the aquarium, huh?"

"You've never been, have you?"

"I can't say I've ever felt the need to stare at fishes and waste several hours of my-don't whip me while I'm driving. You'll get us both killed."

As if I would do something stupid like that.

"You're a fool, Miles Edgeworth."

"Yes, I must be foolish for letting you talk me into this..."

"Don't be flippant."

"Is that an order?"

*THONK

"Ow!"

"I told you not to be flippant!"

"I'm going to turn this car around and go back to the office!"

"No you won't!"

"What makes you so sure?"

"Fine, we can go back to the office and you can discuss it with my whip..."

"..."

"Besides you love the aquarium."

"I love not getting whipped..."

Please, you love getting whipped.

**_It must be true love _**

* * *

A/N: THONK= a thump with the handle of the whip...


	14. Admission

**Admission**

"That'll be sixty-eight dollars with tax."

"Sixty-? To stare at some fish tanks?"

Don't be stingy little brother. And lady, stop giving him the eye...

"Unless you'd like to negotiate over a drink, Mister...?"

"Edgeworth."

No she didn't!

"Wait, so all I have to do is call this number and admission is free?"

"You're funny..."

This is really happening...

"For me and my sister?"

"Around seven? Is that good for you?"

"I don't see why not-"

He can't be serious...

"It's a date!"

"Come again?"

*WHOOSH *CRACK *CRACK *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK *WHOOSH *CRACK *CRACK *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK *WHOOSH *CRACK *CRACK *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK

"Aaaaaaaiiiieeeeee!"

Take that strumpet!

*WHOOSH *CRACK *CRACK *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK *WHOOSH *CRACK *CRACK *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK *WHOOSH *CRACK *CRACK *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK

"This is for your own good, little brother!"

"NNnnggh!"

**_No one else can break my heart like you_**


	15. Lawsuit

**Lawsuit**

"Oh, get up off of the floor you fool!"

"Why'd you-?"

"I rescued you..."

"From what? I almost got us free tickets!"

Idiot! Here's seventy dollars! Keep the change strumpet.

"Let's go, before you really embarrass me."

**_Just once _**

Don't look at me like that Miles Edgeworth. That woman was a predator.

"What if she presses charges, Franziska?"

"The law is on our side, Miles Edgeworth. We are the law."

"Why are you always so violent?"

He doesn't get it does he?

**_try to wrap your little brain around my feelings_**

"I'm not violent. I only ever use the right amount of force necessary. Because I'm perfect."

"I think you need to be perfect somewhere else..."


	16. Condescension

**Condescension**

See how he stares into the tank.  
And he said he didn't want to come.  
I always know what's best for my little brother...

"Isn't it peaceful? I'm sure anyone will benefit from such serenity."

*COUGH

"Why are you coughing?"

"Oh... Um... My throat was dry."

Hmmm... He thinks he's funny...

**_Just once_**

"That is a sunfish. That one is a barracuda."

"You seem to know a lot about fish..."

"I know a lot about everything!"

**_please try not to_**

"Do you now?"

*WHOOSH *CRACK *SNAP

"Nnngghh..."

**_be so mean_**

"Don't condescend..."


	17. Tuna Salad

**Tuna Salad**

"So what kind of fish is that?"

"Which one?"

"The large, handsome fellow with the stripe."

"That's a Tunny, Miles..."

"Well, what a fine fish it is..."

Really? A Tunny is a fine fish...?

"Kind of makes me want a sandwich."

"..."

"What?"

**_Repeat after me now_**

"We're here to admire the fish... Not imagine eating them."

Is he smiling at me? What's wrong with him?

"I like this side of you, Franziska."

Wait... Did he just...?

"Are you blushing?"

"No!"

"Is it hot in here? You've gone red in the-!"

*WHOOSH *CRACK *CRACK *SNAP *WHOOSH *CRACK *SNAP

**_R-O-M-A-N-C-E-E-E_**

"Stop trying to embarrass me, Miles Edgeworth!"


	18. Fed Up

**Fed Up**

I wish she'd stop hitting me...

**_Come on I'll say it slowly _**

"Please don't hit me anymore, Franziska..."

"Stop asking for it..."

**_(Romance)_**

She just said that... I can't make this stuff up...


	19. Alternatives

**Alternatives**

"There are other ways to assert your dominance and authority without resorting to violence."

"Oh really? Are you implying that I use my whip to compensate for a lack of authority?"

*COUGH "My, but those shoes fit quite nicely..."

Did he seriously just-!

"There you go raising that whip again..."

"You're trying to trick me."

"I never..."

**_You can do it babe_**


	20. Penguins

**Penguins**

"I think they're cute."

"Cute? What's wrong with you?!"

"They look like short, chubby little barristers awaiting their next big trial."

"I never knew you were so idiotic..."

**_At the same time, I wanna hug you_**

AHahahahahaha! Did I make you feel bad, little brother?

"You must like them too... I think you're just trying to get a rise out of me."

**_I wanna wrap my hands around your neck_**

*GLARE

*GLARE

"What do you mean by 'get a rise' out of you?"

"..."

"..."

"Can we just go to the next exhibit?"


	21. Souvenirs

**Souvenirs**

"The gift shop? But don't you come here all the time?"

"Yes, but..."

"You don't need to go to the gift shop."

**_You're an asshole_**

"Maybe, I wanted to go to the gift shop to get something for you."

"Mmmnn... How nice, but no thank you."

*CRACK *SNAP

**_but I love you_**

"Fine... Let's go to the gift shop..."

"You have to buy me something because you've been rude."

What was that look for?


	22. An Errand

**An Errand**

"I suppose, while we're out, I can replace my glasses. Would you mind terribly if we went to the glasses store?"

"The 'glasses store', Miles? What do you live in a cave or something?"

"I forget the name of the place. There's no need for any rudeness."

"Fine, I can spare some time to go to the mall with you."

"The mall? I didn't mean the mall. There's a glasses store not far from-"

"We're going to the mall."

"But I don't-"

"The mall!"

"But it's further-!"

"So help me MilesEdgeworthwe'regoingtothemall!"

"..."

*GLARE

"I could just do this tomorrow..."

*WHOOSH *CRACK *SNAP

**_And you make me so mad_**


	23. The Freeway

**The Freeway**

"You don't have to take the freeway to get to the mall."

"You know, Franziska, if you don't like the freeway, maybe you should just go to the mall by yourself."

"You're the one that needs to go shopping."

"I'm not going shopping, I'm going to replace my eyeglasses-the ones you broke."

"Please, you like shopping."

"..."

**_I ask myself_**

"Miles! Slow down! You'll get us killed!"

"Oh I'm endangering us... Thanks for your concern Miss 'whip the driver' Von Karma... And I'm not speeding!"

**_Why I'm still here,_**

"The speed limit is seventy."

"I'm going seventy!"

"It's a 'speed limit' that doesn't mean you have to go that fast!"

"..."

**_or where could I go _**

Why is he giving me that evil glare?

* * *

_A/N: Edgeworth is probably thinking 'you're not wrong, you're just an asshole' a la the Big Lebowski..._


	24. Frames

**Frames**

"Oh no! Not those!"

She's adorable when she laughs.

**_But I hate you,_**

But must she always do so at my expense?

"Try these."

"I don't like the weight of them, they feel funny."

"Aw. Go see in the mirror. And stop scowling, Miles, it makes you look old."

I don't want to look in the mirror. I don't want fashion frames. I just want to replace the glasses she broke.

"Ooh wait, try these!"

**_I really hate you,_**


	25. And a Spare

**And a Spare**

"Your glasses will be ready in three hours."

"Three? But I thought—"

"You got six pairs of glasses and two pairs of sunglasses… Three hours is a feat—you're lucky we're not busy."

"I see… Is there any way I could get you to rush on just one pair of glasses? Really, the others can wait."

"Yeah, no problem, buddy. Which of these—"

"Miles! Try these! These are perfect!"

"Franziska, no more! I only have one head, I can only wear one pair of glasses at a time."

"Oh please? Just try them on…"

And I'll thank you not to sigh like that when I make a suggestion…

"Fine…"

**_So much, I think it must be_**

Aw! *twinkly eyes* He's so cute!

**_True love, true love _**

"Miles, you look exactly like a perfect Wednesday morning…"

"I… I don't get it…"

"Now you have a pair of glasses for everyday of the week. That's perfect! Don't you think so, mister?"

"Sure! You want me to add those to your order?"

"…"

"Mister Edgeworth?"

"Fine…"

* * *

_**A/N: sorry for the hiccough in posting these... I wrote them on my tablet while road tripping and something corrupted... I had to rewrite everything after chapter 24...**_


	26. In the Interim

**In the Interim**

"How long?"

I can't believe I have to hang out with her in the mall for three hours.

"Three hours."

"Yay!"

She's cheering?

**_It must be true love _**

At least she didn't whip me.


	27. On Deaf Ears

**On Deaf Ears**

"Please don't make me go in there."

"Miles, please?"

"I don't want to go in there."

"You can pick the store after."

"I refuse to go in there."

"I'll even help you sort your paper clips."

"I will not go in there."

*SNAP

"Don't make me whip you in the mall."

"You can whip me all day, if it means I don't have to go in there."

**_Nothing else can break my heart like_**

"You don't love me…"

"..."

"..."

**_ True love, true love,_**

"Fine let's go!"


	28. Someone's Secret

**Someone's Secret**

"Oh look! They're having a sale too!"

"Hello! Thanks for shopping at Victoria's Secret, if you need any help with anything, please let me know."

"I'm fine thanks!"

"Can I help you sir?"

"Er no… I'm with her."

"That's so sweet!"

Just kill me now…

**_It must be true love _**


	29. Torture

**Torture**

"Can I help you sir?"

"No thank you."

"Can I help you sir?"

"No, I'm with—GAH!"

Where did she go? Why are there so many sales associates working here?

"Is there something I can help you find?"

"No! No thank you."

I'm not going to follow her in there.

"Good afternoon, sir. Are you shopping for your special someone?"

"NO!"

**_No one else can break my heart like you _**


	30. Wings

**Wings**

"Franziska!"

Is that Miles?

"Franziska! Are you almost done?"

Why are men so impatient?

"I'm going to go outside and look at the fountain."

Did he threaten to abandon me?

"Miles Edgeworth, you get back here!"

"I'm just going to be right outside!"

"Come here!"

"You can see me from the checkout."

*CRACK *WHOOSH *CRACK *SNAP *CRACK **CRASH!

**_Why do you rob me up the wrong way?_**

"Did you whip the girl with the wings?"

Don't you dare laugh!

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

You will pay for this Miles Edgeworth!


	31. Under Where?

**Under where?**

"You don't need that stuff anyway…"

*GLARE

"Franziska…"

*CRACK *SNAP

"Everyone needs underwear, Miles Edgeworth!"

**_ Why do you say the things that you say? _**


	32. It's an Audi R8

**It's an Audi R8**

"Look at that!"

"It's a car Miles…"

"It's an Audi R8… I can't believe they brought one here…"

"Stop it. You already have a stupid little car."

"But it's an Audi R8."

"It just looks like a stupid little car to me."

"But it's an A—"

"If you say it's an Audi R8 one more time, I'll whip you."

"…"

"Honestly Miles…"

"There was a dead body in my car… Maybe I should get a new—OWwwwWWWww!"

"We're walking away now!"

"My ear!"

**_Sometimes I wonder how we ever came to be_**


	33. Pretzel

**Pretzel**

"Those pretzels are the best."

"Do you want a pretzel, Franziska?"

"No, I shouldn't."

"Oh, okay."

Is he going to get one anyway?!

"Miles!"

"Can I help you, sir?"

"Yes, I'd like one soft pret—"

"What about me?"

"You said you didn't—"

"Don't be greedy…"

"Um… Make that two—"

"I don't want a whole one…"

"They only sell whole ones."

"I only want a bite…"

"Okay. One regular pretz—"

"Get the sweet dip."

"But that's gross."

"I want the sweet dip."

*SIGH

"One soft pretzel with the sweet dip."

**_But without you I'm incomplete_**


	34. Sharing is Caring

**Sharing is Caring**

"You don't want any?"

"No it's gross."

"You're so finicky."

"I'm not finicky."

"You don't like pretzels anyway."

"…"

"How much longer do we have to wait?"

"Two hours and forty minutes."

"At least you don't have to wait by yourself."

"Yes, I suppose there's that."

"You love me, Miles."

**_I think it must be true love, true love _**


	35. Escape

**Escape**

"No, I'm going back to the office. I've wasted the whole day with you."

"You had fun."

"…"

"Come on, admit it."

"…"

"Miles?"

"…yeah… I guess…"

**_It must be true love_**


	36. Sanctity

**Sanctity**

"Miles, I'm tired."

"How can you be tired when you didn't get any work done?

*GLARE

**_Nothing else can break my heart like_**

"You realize it's Saturday."

"Yes, of course."

**_True love, true love, _**

"I was helping you."


	37. Gratitude

**Gratitude**

"…worst… help… ever…"

**_It must be true love_**

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks for reading! (if anyone is left at this point in the silliness…)_**

****_First songfic… It was fun. Maybe I'll get it right next time…_

_Please review! Tell me what was good, what sucked, or if I should just rip this thing down and destroy it._


End file.
